A Guide to Internet Chat Rooms

 by Ian Lewis

If you lack confidence about face-to-face dating, online chat rooms are a great way to meet like-minded people easily. While live chat gives you the chance to win people over with your personality rather than just relying on looks, you can still fall at the first fence. What you post in internet chat rooms could make you seem a dullard, desperado or geek. Even worse, you could be ignored or thought of as (gasp!) non-date material! To attract people in chat rooms, all you have to do is adopt a confident, interesting chat style and a down-to-earth, honest attitude.

Pick your style Think carefully about the impression you want to create, the type of people you're trying to talk to and the general style and ambience of the internet chat room you want to join (such as adult or teen chat). Comedy is a winner but wacky is a risk. You may think dropping obscure one-liners into your online chat will give you an intellectual air, but most people will think you are trying too hard or just lacking social skills. If you want to use humour, make sure you aren't too sarcastic or smutty. No one likes chatting to a smarty-pants or cringing at explicit posts.

Don't lie or lay yourself bare Don't exaggerate your lifestyle beyond the realms of fantasy. You may think you sound irresistible, but you will come across as a sad, wannabe faker. Equally, no one wants to hear your life story, volumes 1-24 either. Overly mememe live chat sounds desperate and needy. People are likely to give you a wide berth, fearing that you'll suck the life force out of them.

Chatting don'ts When chatting online, you need to make yourself stand out from the crowd by attracting attention. This doesn't mean using capitals, which is effectively SHOUTING, or excessive use of punctuation, unless you want to look like an over excited child the night before Christmas!!!!!!111!!!!! Try to avoid text speak, such as l8r and b4, for adult chat. It's much more suited to teen chat, as are prolific use of abbreviations (such as LOL - Laugh Out Loud). And nothing lets you down more than typos (such as 'wait a sex', instead of 'sec').

Chatting dos Keep your posts short, stop feeling The Fear and let yourself go. If you like a film or band, then get off the fence and say so. People might not agree with you, but if you've an opinion then you'll get noticed. Indulge in a bit of flirting, but be prepared for amorous responses! To show that you are friendly, try adding actions to your chat such as *smiles* or *laughs*. This is more adult than the emoticons or smilies, loved by teens, which are a tad cheesy. The most important thing to remember is to read what you've written before you submit. Be sensitive, as text doesn't convey body language or tone and sarcasm can feel like poisoned daggers through the heart.

When the chat gets tough Whenever a group of people are chatting online together, you'll always get one who tries to provoke an argument or push things too far. It's no good having a hissy fit and flouncing out of the chat room in a huff. These people are just playground bullies. Try and think of a witty come back or just ignore them. They will either be humiliated into submission or get bored. If that fails just agree with them.. 'Yes, yes. Whatever you say.' Then add *yawns*.

Dealing with unwanted chat This is always tricky. If you're the darling of an internet chat room, you're going to get a lot of interest. Unwanted sexual attention is a pain. I had one guy who wouldn't take no for an answer and kept sending me explicit emails. After failed attempts to get him to stop, I posted them in the chat room and got everyone to guess his identity, giving out little clues. Everyone laughed and he soon stopped. If it gets really annoying, contact the chat room administrator to block the poster. Whether you want to ride out front with the best of them, or take a quieter back seat, have fun chatting online. keep it real, don't lie, remember it's only a chat room, so don't take it seriously, and don't give out your personal information.

About the Author

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